


Drowning In My Own Mind

by MarmaladeLangdon



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 00:24:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarmaladeLangdon/pseuds/MarmaladeLangdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the quiet moments are the hardest to function in. The moments where he’s not busy, not surrounded by people, not talking, are the hardest. There’s nothing there to fill the silence and to distract him from what he’d done. Deep down he knew it wasn’t his fault, deep down he knew there was nothing he could’ve done, but in those brief moments of silence he hears the nagging voice in his head that tells him otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowning In My Own Mind

Sometimes the quiet moments are the hardest to function in. The moments where he’s not busy, not surrounded by people, not talking, are the hardest. There’s nothing there to fill the silence and to distract him from what he’d done. Deep down he knew it wasn’t his fault, deep down he knew there was nothing he could’ve done, but in those brief moments of silence he hears the nagging voice in his head that tells him otherwise. He can still hear him, hear him yelling for Stiles to run to get home and get ready to act normal for when his dad got home, but he couldn’t. Instead of running away from his best friend’s screams he followed them and when he finally got to him it was too late. Scott was standing hunched over, arm around his stomach where there were huge scratches and his side where there was a huge bite mark, and coughing up blood. He falls over and it’s almost like he’s having a seizure the way he shakes and sounds like he’s choking. This is usually when Stiles will curl up, eyes closed tight, trying to make the screams and the images of his best convulsing on the forest floor go away. He remembers calling his dad, telling him where they were, and then trying to help Scott, getting him on his side and trying to apply pressure to the cuts. The ambulance gets there but there’s already so much blood and Scott has stopped shaking, he’s barely breathing. He remembers being pulled away and following the ambulance to the hospital with his dad in the cruiser, and the look on Melissa’s face when the doors open and she’s faced with her son lying on the stretcher. The paramedics tell her they did all they could and that’s when Stiles realizes there were no sirens while they were driving, just lights, they weren’t in a hurry because Scott was gone before they got to the hospital, probably before they left the forest. Stiles sits in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, his best friend’s blood drying on his t-shirt and jeans, while police and nurses rush about trying to make sure the proper things are being done and that he and Melissa are okay. He doesn’t register that people are trying to talk to him and only snaps out of it when Melissa grabs his hand and thanks him for making sure Scott wasn’t alone. That’s when he breaks, he wraps his arms around her and lets the tears fall; she doesn’t blame him, she doesn’t think it’s Stiles’s fault even though they never would have been in the woods for it to happen if he hadn’t insisted. It seems like he sits with Melissa for hours before his dad is back to take him home to clean up and try to get some sleep. The next few days are filled with visits to psychiatrists who ask him questions that he doesn’t answer and give him sympathy that he doesn’t want, and his night are filled with sleepless nights spent reliving the events in the woods and hoping it’s all some twisted dream and he’ll wake up and it will all be gone. 

Scott’s funeral marks the first time Stiles has said a word since the whole ordeal. It gives people hope, hope that he’s getting better and attempting to get past it, at least until it’s over and he stays sitting at Scott’s grave and doesn’t say a word to anyone. His dad tries giving him space but there’s only so much silence he and the doctors can take before they’re talking about Stiles staying in a hospital instead of going back to school, so he talks. He tells the psychiatrist everything he remembers about that night and how he thinks it’s his fault, and about the weeks that follow. He promises that he’ll move on, he’ll start talking again and try to make new friends. That’s how he ended up here, the kid who never shuts up for fear of what the silence brings who somehow became friends with the most popular girl in school because she let him talk and would even fill silences for him in groups because she understood it’s what he needed. He still rarely sleeps and spends too much time away from home but he’s coping and that’s all anyone ever really asked of him.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know where this story came from I was just up one night and the words appeared in a blank document on my computer. 
> 
> The title sort of comes from the song The Final Episode by Asking Alexandria.


End file.
